Two Years Down and a Lifetime To Go

My husband has always been an athlete but has previously struggled with his weight in the past as well and instead of being a loving supportive partner I would often chastise and guilt him for the time he spent in the gym. He, truly being my better half never once condemned me for the severe disillusion of investment in fitness and the self destructive diet I was consuming! However, a great deal presented itself and we together joined a gym three years ago. I rejected the tour, I didn’t want to discuss what they had to offer and I left. It wasn’t until over a year later I returned. You see, I avoided physical activity, cameras, and especially scales most of my entire life. At doctor visits I would request they not tell me the weight number or face the opposite direction. But, in February 2010 I came face to face with the dreaded number, 213 pounds. Yes, TWO HUNDRED AND THIRTEEN POUNDS and here’s the kicker, I’m 5’2. I weighed more than some female contestants on The Biggest Loser television show and more than my husband! Me! A former cheerleader, a former Miss South Carolina Contestant, and now a mother of a toddler. Sure, I justified the weight gain (everyone gains when they have a baby, right?), blamed the weight gain (its hereditary, no one in our family stays thin), and ignored the weight gain (the avoidance of the camera’s and scales, even full size mirrors!) and then, I cried and decided to do something about it.

I called Weight Watchers and joined immediately. The first twenty pounds came off quickly. I had no idea what I was doing to my body with the diet I previously had and couldn’t believe some of the things I had fed my family! Our world was turned upside down and we’ve never looked back. After a couple of months passed, I quickly plateud and I knew it was time to get active. I still lacked the courage to go to a gym, surely there was no way I could keep up with THOSE people (or at least this was my mindset), but I began walking outside. The weight began to come off again. My husband always encouraged me to go to the gym but it took him mentioning a group fitness class to peak my interest. He told me of something called “Zumba”, they danced. I agreed to check it out. Terrifyingly nervous I went to Pivotal but NOT to the class. I went straight for the elliptical directly in front of the window to gawk at what was going on in the room. They were dancing alright! It looked choreographed, it looked hard, it looked crazy! They were laughing, screaming, and shaking! I came back to Pivotal and watched again and again and again. Weeks passed and I built the courage to go inside. I went straight for the back corner, away from the window, away from the instructor. I prayed no one would talk to me. The hour FLEW by, I even smiled a few times, and could barely catch my breath (true story, I nearly puked.). This is when our lives and my body really began to change. I went to every Zumba class that they offered and any open class I could pay to attend within a days travel. I slowly moved forward from the back row as my confidence grew. But, not only in Zumba,in life.

Then something magical happened,I fell in love with our new healthy lifestyle and being at the gym. This girl. The girl who doesn’t like to sweat, the girl who has been hit square in the face with a softball multiple times. The girl who refused to play kickball growing up. I started to notice familiar faces in other classes smiling too, so I decided to try those! I fell off the top of the step in my first Step Class, I had no idea how to adjust a seat in Spin, and it really was rocket science the first time I put a bar bell together. But someone was always there to help me, to encourage me, and to answer any questions or concerns I had. Without realizing it, a support group had formed. People that cared about me, my journey, and whether or not I was at class that day. I made friends and found mentors. Without these people, those classes it would’ve been so easy to stop and quit during tough times. As much as I was loving fitness, I equally enjoyed health and nutrition research. Just like in class it took some time to build my confidence, I faced the same challenge in the kitchen. I come from a family of great Southern Cooks and grew up honestly believing macaroni and cheese was a vegetable. If it’s offered with meat and three, it must be! I was terrified of cooking healthy, I didn’t know where to begin. However, with a great deal of trial and error, I’ve gotten pretty good. 🙂 If there is a healthier substitute, a way to cut fat, to reduce sodium, or cut calories I most likely know the way! I began sharing some of my journey with family and friends on Facebook the past year and have had such an incredible response, I decided to document it

I knew my journey wasn’t over but had no idea that it would lead to me sharing my confessions to help others become better versions of themselves too. A lot of people seek fitness and diet to change their life (or body) quickly, but it can only save your life if it becomes a life long lifestyle. So here I am, I just got licensed to Instruct Zumba in hopes of inspiring others to get fit while having fun and now I’m sharing secrets, successes and stories of our diet with you.

Confession #1- I’ve lost 89 pounds so far and I’m never turning back.

Comfort and Joy

I often joke and say I’m a member of “Emotional Eaters Identified”. Confession #1: I’m not joking. Not many of us make the connection between eating and our feelings. But understanding what drives emotional eating has been one of the biggest challenges on my journey to a better me. I, like a lot of women, have struggled with my weight my entire life. No, this post isn’t going to be about my weight loss journey and how I lost the weight, or even how much. Not today! Today is about emotions. As many blessings as 2012 bestowed upon our family, it seemed to bring the same amount of burdens. The greatest being within a six month period all four of my very best friends (as in love like sisters) moved away. Out of state, away. I always knew we couldn’t have sleep overs forever, that life would go on, and that we’d all grow up someday. I was prepared for that. I wasn’t prepared for a rare emotion that came with the sudden news, FEAR. I was terrified of falling out of touch, missing memories as our kids grow up, laughing less, forgetting more, and especially making new friends.

Confession #2: I don’t do things I’m not good at. It’s one of my greatest faults. I’m not good at saying goodbye, so I didn’t. Fear being a primary emotion that can send you into a whirl wind of behaviors and other secondary feelings, I naturally turned to food. But, this time it was different. Thankfully, I had learned a lot about nutrition and how to appropriately fuel my body. I knew where past decisions and “comfort food” had led me and I wasn’t willing to forfeit my hard work for my inability to admit that I was scared. This time I turned to food education. I can’t help but to constantly think about how clueless I was to what I was putting into my body two years ago, nutrition labels might as well have been in Japanese to me. And if I genuinely didn’t know or understand, how many other people didn’t or don’t?

So, I started cooking. And failed many times. I officially blackened more vegetables than I have successfully roasted, I made chicken so dry it could choke you, and some of the most disgusting frosting you can imagine (buttercream without butter is quite challenging). I didn’t realize it at the time but what I was learning started showing up, both in the kitchen and in conversations. It wasn’t until one of the “best” reached out to me for healthy recipes. She and her husband (who happens to be best friends with my husband!) along with their one year old son just moved almost half way across the nation from our home. She is a stay at home mom who wakes up beautiful, one of those girls with the perfect body and you’d hate her if you didn’t love her so much. SHE was asking me for healthy tips? SHE was the only one of the five of us that had not joined Weight Watchers and we had never really discussed my strategy to a healthier me when she lived nearby. I took a step back and asked myself “People think I know what I’m talking about?” And it turns out they do. I started sending recipes, sites, and resources regularly and then she would pass them on to others seeking tips as well. Months before we knew they would were moving, we had laughed at our dreams of retiring together and having exclusive elaborate southern dinner parties once a week. We planned to get obnoxiously over dressed and never repeat the same meal twice. We would call it “Supper Club”. Here we are, nowhere close to retirement and 700 miles apart and she suggested we start it now. It would be a way for us to pretend we were having dinner together, just like old times and just like it will be again one day. I would create the recipe, she would make it in her home too, together we’d wow our husbands, and then catch up. It is often the highlight of my week!

She was the first to ask me and then it was as if someone let up the flood gates! I started getting messages and emails daily with recipe make over requests, toning inquiries, restaurants tips, grocery must haves, and my testimony. My journey to a healthier me has saved my life (this is not the first time I’ll say it and it won’t be the last). But it saved me this time in a different way than my blood pressure and glucose levels. It allowed me to fulfil a life long goal or maybe even a destiny of helping others. It gave me confidence in a new skill. It gave me conversations with an old friend and so many new ones. So here I am… standing in my kitchen confessing to you, I want to be part of your journey to a better you, no matter how many miles apart we may be. Oh, and that there is nothing to fear but fear itself…and PF Changs Nutritional Stats, those things are scary! You can try these “Knock Off Chicken Lettuce Wraps” instead. 🙂

Knock Off Chicken Lettuce Wraps
Prep time: 10 minutes
Cook time: 10 minutes
6 Servings Stats: 172 calories/16 grams of Protein/8 grams of Fat/6 Carbs
6 points plus (including vegetables and no fiber)
Ingredients:
1/2 tbs. of olive oil
Light Cooking Spray (I use smart balance)
1 lb. ground 99% FAT FREE chicken breast or turkey
1 large cooking onion, finely chopped
2 tbs. minced garlic
2 tbs. low sodium soy sauce
¼ cup of hoisin sauce (hoisin is calorie heavy so I made my own 4 tbs lowsod soy sauce, 1 tbs of peanut butter or Better’n Peanut Butter, 1 tbs honey, 2 teaspoon of rice vinegar or mild white vinegar, 1/8 teaspoon of garlic powder, 2 teaspoons of olive oil, 20 drops of hot suace, 1/8 teaspoon of black pepper)
2 tsp. minced fresh ginger
1 tbs. rice vinegar
2 tsp. of sriracha (optional, but I like it HOT!)
10 oz, of sliced water chestnuts, drained finely chopped
Small bushel of baby bella mushrooms, finely chopped
1 bunch of green onions
Large lettuce leaves (Cabbage is a SUPER food and a great option as well)
Instructions:
1. Heat oil in a LARGE sauté pan over medium heat. Add chopped onion, mushrooms, and water chestnuts first. Cook for about two minutes and then add lean meat breaking into small bits as it cooks.
2. In a separate bowl mix garlic, ginger, soy sauce, rice vinegar, and hoisin sauce or mixture, and optional sriracha together. Pour slowly into the pan to cover all of the chicken and vegetables. Continue cooking until chicken is thoroughly cooked. I add green onions at the very end to keep the freshness and crunch!
3. Transfer the chicken to a bowl or large plate. Scoop the chicken mixture onto lettuce leave. Garnish with cilantro, green onion, or additional sauces.
4. Wow your family or guest!