No Such Thing As Guilt Free

I struggle with balance on a daily basis. Not just with my “diet”… with life. It’s hard to be a wife and mother. It’s even harder to be a wife, a mother, and a friend. It’s the hardest to be a wife, a mother, a friend and yourself. It’s so easy to conform to the expectations of the world around us and lose sight of the simple things in life that make us happy and authentic to who we are supposed to be. Today I’m feeling guilty. I worked all day, I prepped dinner on my lunch break (I usually do), I went to the gym for two hours, three if you count the crazy drive I make. Only to return home and find my husband and daughter preparing for quiet time. I missed the puzzle, bath time, dinner at the table, and barely caught snuggles on the couch. My heart sank. This is the reason most mom’s don’t get active. We forfeit ourselves for our families. You’re reading in agreement saying “YES!” waiting for a solution and CONFESSION: I don’t have one. The best advice I can give you, the same I give myself. It’s all about balance. My family knows how important they are to me; but it’s also important to me that my daughter knows I am more than just a mom. (Not that being “just a mom” isn’t enough!) But, I want her to know I love to dance, obnoxious high heel shoes, loud music, theatre, the beginning of books, and inspirational quotes. All things I loved many years ago and still love today.

I’ve lost myself before. Physically and emotionally. Guilt is a terrible feeling, but not as bad as refusing to look in the mirror for fear of not recognizing your own face.

I often apologize for time I selfishly take for myself but I shouldn’t. And neither should you! The time we take now buys us more time later. Whether it’s in sanity or health. You deserve it. You’re worth it. You may feel a little bit of guilt, but that just means you’re a good spouse, mother, and friend. You’re someone’s everything, so take care of yourself! And then cook them this “GUILT FREE Enchilada Lasanga” 🙂 It’s the perfect comfort food (if you believe in that emotional eating sort of thing) and for those nights when you simply can’t decide which cuisine you’re craving. And for my Super Moms out there, I have tons of tricks for sneaking veggies in this one! It’ll be our secret.

Guilt Free Enchilada Lasagna
Serves:4
Nutritional Info per serving: 253 calories. 2 grams of fat. 34 carbs. 7 grams of fiber. 9 grams of sugar. 24 grams of protein. 6 WW Points Plus
Ingredients:
Cooking Spray- we use Smart Balance
12 oz chicken breast shredded (we boil a couple of pounds and keep on hand for recipes)
1/4 cup of fresh chopped cilantro divided
1 can of southwest corn with black beans and peppers
1/3 cup of fat free soft cream cheese
1/2 teaspoon of ground red pepper or flakes
1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
1/2 cup of chopped onion
1/2 cup of chopped pepper (green or red is just fine)
6 garlic cloves minced and diced
1/4 cup of fat free, low sodium Chicken broth
1 cup salsa of choice (or of course you can make your own!)
1/4 cup water
1/2 cup low sodium/no sodium enchilada sauce (you can use verde or traditional)
6 (6-inch) corn tortillas
1/2 cup fat free shredded cheese (if you’re new to fat free cheese this will be an adjustment! It does not melt the same. You can certainly use reduced fat cheese, but it will change the nutritional content.)
chopped green onion and fat free sour cream and lime juice for garnish

1. Preheat oven to 425°.
2. Boil and shred chicken. To keep the chicken flavorful and juicy boil it in half water/half fat free, low sodium chicken stock
3. Place chicken in a medium bowl. Add 1 1/2 tablespoons cilantro, canned corn, black beans, peppers,ground spices and cream cheese and to chicken and mix to coat evenly and set to the site.
3. Bring a large, lightly sprayed skilled to medium-high heat. Add onions and peppers; sauté 5 minutes until they begin to soften and onions are translucent, stirring occasionally. Add 3 garlic cloves; sauté 30 seconds, stirring constantly. Add sauteed veggies to chicken mixture.
4. In a seperate bowl mix salsa, enchilada sauce, chicken broth, and fresh cilantro
5. Lay tortillas out evenly on large cookie sheet, lightly brush or drizzle lime juice on top for an extra burst of freshness (optional) and spray lightly with cooking spray. Bake at 425 for 5 minutes or until they begin to toast slighty.
6. Start with layering one toasted tortilla and topping with salsa mixture, then another toasted tortilla topped with the creamy chicken mixture. Continue to alternate until you get to the top! Cover the top with shredded cheese and garnish with remaining cilantro, green onion, or sour cream. I like to bake ours in a round glass dish because it’s beautiful and easier to portion! Bake on 425 for 15-20 minutes until it begins to bubble and your house smells AMAZING.

Comfort and Joy

I often joke and say I’m a member of “Emotional Eaters Identified”. Confession #1: I’m not joking. Not many of us make the connection between eating and our feelings. But understanding what drives emotional eating has been one of the biggest challenges on my journey to a better me. I, like a lot of women, have struggled with my weight my entire life. No, this post isn’t going to be about my weight loss journey and how I lost the weight, or even how much. Not today! Today is about emotions. As many blessings as 2012 bestowed upon our family, it seemed to bring the same amount of burdens. The greatest being within a six month period all four of my very best friends (as in love like sisters) moved away. Out of state, away. I always knew we couldn’t have sleep overs forever, that life would go on, and that we’d all grow up someday. I was prepared for that. I wasn’t prepared for a rare emotion that came with the sudden news, FEAR. I was terrified of falling out of touch, missing memories as our kids grow up, laughing less, forgetting more, and especially making new friends.

Confession #2: I don’t do things I’m not good at. It’s one of my greatest faults. I’m not good at saying goodbye, so I didn’t. Fear being a primary emotion that can send you into a whirl wind of behaviors and other secondary feelings, I naturally turned to food. But, this time it was different. Thankfully, I had learned a lot about nutrition and how to appropriately fuel my body. I knew where past decisions and “comfort food” had led me and I wasn’t willing to forfeit my hard work for my inability to admit that I was scared. This time I turned to food education. I can’t help but to constantly think about how clueless I was to what I was putting into my body two years ago, nutrition labels might as well have been in Japanese to me. And if I genuinely didn’t know or understand, how many other people didn’t or don’t?

So, I started cooking. And failed many times. I officially blackened more vegetables than I have successfully roasted, I made chicken so dry it could choke you, and some of the most disgusting frosting you can imagine (buttercream without butter is quite challenging). I didn’t realize it at the time but what I was learning started showing up, both in the kitchen and in conversations. It wasn’t until one of the “best” reached out to me for healthy recipes. She and her husband (who happens to be best friends with my husband!) along with their one year old son just moved almost half way across the nation from our home. She is a stay at home mom who wakes up beautiful, one of those girls with the perfect body and you’d hate her if you didn’t love her so much. SHE was asking me for healthy tips? SHE was the only one of the five of us that had not joined Weight Watchers and we had never really discussed my strategy to a healthier me when she lived nearby. I took a step back and asked myself “People think I know what I’m talking about?” And it turns out they do. I started sending recipes, sites, and resources regularly and then she would pass them on to others seeking tips as well. Months before we knew they would were moving, we had laughed at our dreams of retiring together and having exclusive elaborate southern dinner parties once a week. We planned to get obnoxiously over dressed and never repeat the same meal twice. We would call it “Supper Club”. Here we are, nowhere close to retirement and 700 miles apart and she suggested we start it now. It would be a way for us to pretend we were having dinner together, just like old times and just like it will be again one day. I would create the recipe, she would make it in her home too, together we’d wow our husbands, and then catch up. It is often the highlight of my week!

She was the first to ask me and then it was as if someone let up the flood gates! I started getting messages and emails daily with recipe make over requests, toning inquiries, restaurants tips, grocery must haves, and my testimony. My journey to a healthier me has saved my life (this is not the first time I’ll say it and it won’t be the last). But it saved me this time in a different way than my blood pressure and glucose levels. It allowed me to fulfil a life long goal or maybe even a destiny of helping others. It gave me confidence in a new skill. It gave me conversations with an old friend and so many new ones. So here I am… standing in my kitchen confessing to you, I want to be part of your journey to a better you, no matter how many miles apart we may be. Oh, and that there is nothing to fear but fear itself…and PF Changs Nutritional Stats, those things are scary! You can try these “Knock Off Chicken Lettuce Wraps” instead. 🙂

Knock Off Chicken Lettuce Wraps
Prep time: 10 minutes
Cook time: 10 minutes
6 Servings Stats: 172 calories/16 grams of Protein/8 grams of Fat/6 Carbs
6 points plus (including vegetables and no fiber)
Ingredients:
1/2 tbs. of olive oil
Light Cooking Spray (I use smart balance)
1 lb. ground 99% FAT FREE chicken breast or turkey
1 large cooking onion, finely chopped
2 tbs. minced garlic
2 tbs. low sodium soy sauce
¼ cup of hoisin sauce (hoisin is calorie heavy so I made my own 4 tbs lowsod soy sauce, 1 tbs of peanut butter or Better’n Peanut Butter, 1 tbs honey, 2 teaspoon of rice vinegar or mild white vinegar, 1/8 teaspoon of garlic powder, 2 teaspoons of olive oil, 20 drops of hot suace, 1/8 teaspoon of black pepper)
2 tsp. minced fresh ginger
1 tbs. rice vinegar
2 tsp. of sriracha (optional, but I like it HOT!)
10 oz, of sliced water chestnuts, drained finely chopped
Small bushel of baby bella mushrooms, finely chopped
1 bunch of green onions
Large lettuce leaves (Cabbage is a SUPER food and a great option as well)
Instructions:
1. Heat oil in a LARGE sauté pan over medium heat. Add chopped onion, mushrooms, and water chestnuts first. Cook for about two minutes and then add lean meat breaking into small bits as it cooks.
2. In a separate bowl mix garlic, ginger, soy sauce, rice vinegar, and hoisin sauce or mixture, and optional sriracha together. Pour slowly into the pan to cover all of the chicken and vegetables. Continue cooking until chicken is thoroughly cooked. I add green onions at the very end to keep the freshness and crunch!
3. Transfer the chicken to a bowl or large plate. Scoop the chicken mixture onto lettuce leave. Garnish with cilantro, green onion, or additional sauces.
4. Wow your family or guest!